Regruntled.com

Narcissism: when one grows too old to believe in one’s uniqueness, one falls in love with one’s complexity (John Fowles)

I’m reading The Ego Boom, by Steve Maich and Lianne George.  Has it really been 30 years since Christopher Lasch’s The Culture of Narcissism?  Maich and George bring the narcissism theme up to date.

Information technology makes possible mass customization, which enables an illusory sort of narcissism.  Everyone is special, so everyone deserves a customized coffee or a customized burger.  We passively select from a menu of choices designed by someone else, and gain the illusion of having done something creative.

I was reading Revolution in a Bottle: How TerraCycle is Redefining Green Business.  Here’s how it works: Kraft Foods makes Capri Sun, many varieties of “juice drinks”, “flavored water beverages”, and  “100% juice”.  Things that can’t legally be advertised as “fruit juice” because they aren’t, but which can be advertised as “wholesome”, because, well, just because.  Kraft markets Capri Sun to kids, who pester their parents into buying the drinks.

The drink pouches are mixed plastic and metal foil, so they can’t be recycled as either plastic or metal.  Billions of these pouches end up in landfills every year.

TerraCycle organizes the kids into “drink pouch brigades” (I am not making this up).   and donates 2 cents to charity for each pouch sent in.  TerraCycle then remanufactures the pouches into things like pencil cases and messenger bags.  In other words, consumer products that can be marketed to kids!

Every year BILLIONS of drink pouches end up in dumpsters and landfills across America. TerraCycle, Capri Sun and Honest Kids are working together to put an end to this awful loss of resources. As an eco-friendly innovator, TerraCycle converts the used drink pouches into unique fashion bags, tote bags, pencil cases, and other items for kids and adults! TerraCycle is proud to team up with the largest producer of drink pouches in the country, Capri Sun, and a young organic entry into the market, Honest Kids, to help address this problem! Together with your help we CAN make a difference!

Meanwhile, there are at least two blindingly obvious design solutions to the landfill problem.  One is that Kraft, perhaps out of a sense of civic responsibility, could make recyclable or biodegradable containers.  OK, maybe that’s too preposterous, but there’s an even simpler solution: parents could buy half-gallon cartons of actual fruit juice and pour it into reusable, lunch-sized bottles.  Sure, it’s a lot of work, but, ounce for ounce, actual fruit juice in half-gallon cartons  is about half the price of individual servings of flavored water beverage. 

I saw an ad for a homeopathic remedy for joint pain in dogs and cats.  Just how might this work?

• Placebo effect on pet: the pet sees that he’s being fussed over and feels better.
• Placebo effect on owner: the owner feels better because he’s fussing over his pet.
• Second-hand placebo effect on pet: the pet sees that owner feels better and then feels better himself.

I’ve been reading about Critical Discourse Analysis and thought I’d apply it to a recent letter from my bank.

Account Information Enclosed

Sounds important, doesn’t it?  Better open it.  The letter actually contains checks for cash advances from my credit card.  The letter mentions the last 4 digits of my account number, so I suppose it does contain some account information.

Access your funds with ease.

This suggests that the money is already “mine” and is just waiting for me to spend it.  The theme of ease is reinforced with phrases like “simply use”, “an easy way”, and “in two easy steps”.  Of course, I haven’t borrowed it yet, so it’s not mine, it’s the bank’s.

This may give you the ability and flexibility to do what you want when you want.

Freedom!  This is reinforced with “make the most of your account” and “you can benefit”.  Of course, going into debt is the exact opposite of freedom. 

New 4.99% Promotional APR

This is psychological pricing.  Come on, it’s 5 percent!

(Transaction fees apply.  See left panel for details.)

Some  very small print says there’s a transaction fee of 4%.  The promotional APR expires after 6 months, so it’s really 8% annualized.    (Actually more than 8%, because the fee comes off the top, while my balance declines with each payment.)  Look what they’ve done.  They just offered to lend me money at over 13% while making it sound like 4-point-something.

Save More

This is reinforced with “continue to save” by using all three check instead of just one.    The bank quotes two rates, the standard rate and the promotional rate, and offers me the lower rate, thereby allowing me to “save”.  Of course, at either rate, borrowing is the exact opposite of saving.

Write a check today

Urgency is reinforced with “call today” and an expiration date on the checks.

We can help with your cash needs.

The framing is insidious.  “Needs” suggests that I have a problem and need to be “helped”.  Of course, they have access to my credit report and if I really did need help, they wouldn’t have sent me the letter.

So:  an offer to lend me money at 13%.  They deliberately try to mislead me as to how much it costs to borrow the money.  (”Borrow” appears only once, in the fine print, and “debt” is never mentioned.)  But they’re going to “help” me by making it easy to access “my” money.  Save by borrowing!  Set yourself free by going into debt!  Easy!  Write a check today!

Lowering the Bar has the story:

On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased “Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries” because she believed “crunchberries” were real fruit.

The court reasoned:

Thus, a reasonable consumer would not be deceived into believing that the Product in the instant case contained a fruit that does not exist.

It’s pretty obvious what’s going on here.  The Cap’n Crunch people wanted to make their sugary cereal sound healthier, so they made brightly colored cereal balls and put “Berries” on the package.  They advertise to kids during the Saturday morning cartoons.  The kids want their Cap’n Crunch.  The parent, perhaps in a hurry, perhaps not very smart to begin with, chooses Cap’n Crunch with “Berries” instead of Cap’n Crunch without berries.

I keep getting into this recurring argument about software projects: there will be some kind of problem, and someone will say “we can fix this by adding another table to the database and adding a few more buttons to the user interface.”  I will say, “no, no, we can’t fix this by making the system more complicated, we have to fix it by making the system simpler!”  I typically lose the argument.  The system becomes more complicated, which leads to additional problems, which are addressed by adding even more complexity.  And so it goes.

Mouse’s piece on Practical Demonology got me to thinking about this in relation to religion, which, after all, is cultural software.  Monotheism is very simple, which I like.  Nice, minimalist design.  And yet, complexity creeps back into Catholicism:

• The hierarchy of angels: Raphael, the archangel in charge of healing.
• Demonology: Leonard or “Master Leonard” is a demon or spirit in the Dictionnaire Infernal, Grand-master of the nocturnal orgies of demons.
• Patron saints: St. Gertrude of Nivelles, invoked against fever, rats, and mice, particularly field-mice.

While I’m at it, let me mention the proliferation of superheros with obscure powers, as opposed to the simple, all-purpose Superman.

Tums antacids gives you a choice between Regular Strength, E-X 750 Extra Strength, and Ultra 1000 Maximum Strength.  Same size bottle, same price.  The difference is that Maximum Strength is twice as thick as Regular Strength and you get half as many.  Extra Strength is 50% thicker than Regular Strength and you get two-thirds as many.  Same amount of flavored chalk, different size pieces.  Duhhhh.  Let’s see, should I get Regular Strength and take more of them for severe heartburn, or get Maximum Strength and use a pill splitter if I have mild heartburn?  Ow, now my brain hurts!  I can’t decide, so I’ll compromise on Extra Strength.

Speaking of heartburn, this is like ordering a large pizza and having it cut 6 ways instead of 8 because you’re on a diet.

I am fascinated by the word “flavored” on the spaghetti sauce label.  Not by what it says about the spaghetti sauce, but what it says about society.  The word “meat” is front and center, in big letters, white on pumpkin, let’s say.  Black shadows are added to enhance the contrast . “Flavored” is off to the side, in a much smaller font, in an ultra-low-contrast gold on pumpkin.  I can read “meat” from across the room, but I have to turn the can in the light just so to make out “flavored”.  If this label is not deliberately misleading, what is?

The word “flavored” is there because it’s legally required to be there.  At the same time, low-contrast small print is enough to fulfill the legal requirement.  There is a parallel between the behaviors of industry and government.  Del Monte tries to give the impression that their spaghetti sauce is full of meat, without putting more than trace amounts of actual meat in the product.  Meanwhile, the government tries to give the impression of protecting the consumer, without requiring more than trace amounts of honesty on the label.

I’ve seen a number of feel-good news stories with the same theme: a good-hearted local businessperson gives free haircuts (or free drycleanings, etc.) to unemployed people so they can go to job interviews.  The reporter shows a before and after, interviews someone choked up with gratitude, and concludes that people are coming together in adversity.  What a country!

This is all style and no substance.  No new jobs have been created.  The same people are going to the same interviews for the same jobs.  At best, Mr. Fresh Haircut gets the job instead of Ms. Split Ends.  There is zero net effect on the economy.  There is something pathological about congratulating ourselves for making a difference while doing something that doesn’t make a difference.

On the other hand, if the same business donated the price of a paid haircut to the local food bank, for example, there might actually be a net gain to society.  It wouldn’t make as good a story, though.

Information Age Prayer offers to say your prayers for you for a small monthly fee.  By machine.  Of course, one never knows if something like this is a spoof or not, and in fact the best spoofs hover right on the edge of plausibility. 

But if Scientology is not a spoof, maybe this is not a spoof either.  Spoof or not, it is very elaborate:

Information Age Prayer was founded in 2009 with the aim of helping those who are unable to pray as frequently as they would like. By using the latest technology in text-to-speech synthesizers we are able to provide the service at very affordable rates.

 

All Jewish prayers are voiced in English, with the computer speakers facing Jerusalem.

 

All Muslim prayers are voiced in English, with the computer speakers facing Mecca.

 

Your privacy is protected, all prayers are not audible outside of the Information Age Prayer location. While it is certain that God hears the prayers, we cannot guarantee that other supernatural beings do not overhear or otherwise obtain knowledge of them.

That last part is unsettling.  Another supernatual being… listening in… taking notes… making a list and checking it twice.  I suppose that could happen without the computers, too.

See also: Spamming God.