Spamming God 2
Information Age Prayer offers to say your prayers for you for a small monthly fee. By machine. Of course, one never knows if something like this is a spoof or not, and in fact the best spoofs hover right on the edge of plausibility.
But if Scientology is not a spoof, maybe this is not a spoof either. Spoof or not, it is very elaborate:
Information Age Prayer was founded in 2009 with the aim of helping those who are unable to pray as frequently as they would like. By using the latest technology in text-to-speech synthesizers we are able to provide the service at very affordable rates.
All Jewish prayers are voiced in English, with the computer speakers facing Jerusalem.
All Muslim prayers are voiced in English, with the computer speakers facing Mecca.
Your privacy is protected, all prayers are not audible outside of the Information Age Prayer location. While it is certain that God hears the prayers, we cannot guarantee that other supernatural beings do not overhear or otherwise obtain knowledge of them.
That last part is unsettling. Another supernatual being… listening in… taking notes… making a list and checking it twice. I suppose that could happen without the computers, too.
See also: Spamming God.
March 18th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
Oooohhh, but what if God is a computer? Oh oh…or perhaps God is a can of Spam? What if God doesn’t understand english? So many questions…the mind reels…
March 18th, 2009 at 8:30 pm
God as a can of Spam? That really does a number on the Eucharist: “this is my blood, this is my non-kosher spicy pork product…”
Is Jesus the pull-tab that gives us access to God?
On the other hand, spamming God with prayer becomes so appropriate, so right.
March 19th, 2009 at 7:06 am
Isn’t this just a modern adaptation of the good old Tibetan prayer wheel?
a: Om Mani Padme Hum
b: goto a:
March 19th, 2009 at 7:08 am
I like the signature.
What happens if God hates spam and gets really ticked off at those who instigate it?
Does he auto-forward it all to his weird cousin Beelzebub, the guy who likes playing xylophone tunes on peoples’ shins with rebar?